†Ðark Celestial Ðragon™ ID:011103 2006/11/08 11:38:31	Reply Edit post Homepage
Erm, I think what Jon was implying was for you not to add on. Well that's how I interpreted it anyway. Where have you been, young man? I mean you've been around, but not "around".

Been busy. Videogames needed beating this weekend...

Gigazubyte ID:015441 2006/11/08 12:00:13	Reply Edit post Homepage
and I'm in the play, which is in ten days. And I have my story to write. I spend a lot of time on that.

Re: Honestly, I was thinking...

Jon166 ID:017050 2006/11/10 09:28:34	Reply Edit post Homepage
Actually, I meant tha- ...exactly what you said.

Re: Honestly, I was thinking...

Dark Celestial Dragon ID:011103 2006/11/10 09:48:08	Reply Edit post Homepage
You didn't want him to steal the floor that you have claimed first :(

I am well aware that my lecturing is unwanted.

Gigazubyte ID:015441 2006/11/10 10:03:24	Reply Edit post Homepage

It's not that...

Dark Celestial Dragon ID:011103 2006/11/10 10:30:21	Reply Edit post Homepage
I mean it's a good thing since you put half of the things that we're (well me anyway) trying to say into better wording. For me, it's I feel like you're saying that I didn't already know that. I know you're not, but I have a tendency to think that way. And as I've mentioned in my recent DevART journal entry, I think that has to do with my self-proclaimed "Paranoid Personality Disorder".

Re: It's not that...

Jon166 ID:017050 2006/11/13 09:57:35

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No, it's normal to think that smart comments are meant to make it look like you don't know anything. And they don't usually mean to do that to people. They usually just either want to inform, or even more often, they want to show off what they know about the topic. And actually, I just made all that stuff up, and I didn't want him to tell everyone, because I know that he would know I was faking it.

Re: It's not that...

Dark Celestial Dragon ID:011103 2006/11/13 13:20:05	Reply Edit post Homepage
No. I don't mean "smart comments". I just mean like comments that I already know, but I feel like they are being said to me in the sense that I didn't already know.

Re: It's not that...

Jon166 ID:017050 2006/11/14 06:36:45	Reply Edit post Homepage
Oh, well that makes sense, too. ^^;

Re: It's not that...

Dark Celestial Dragon ID:011103 2006/11/14 10:05:55	Reply Edit post Homepage
I think it really may just be me, though... On a side note, I seriously need to take an anger management class/therapy type thing.

Re: It's not that...

Jon166 ID:017050 2006/11/16 09:33:41	Reply Edit post Homepage
Oh, I know other people feel that way, too. Really, a lot of issues over smart comments are really just misunderstandings. ^^ And I'm sure everyone could use some therapy. I get angry sometimes. I never get violent, but I still get mad at people after a certain point. ._.

Re: It's not that...

Dark Celestial Dragon ID:011103 2006/11/19 00:22:15

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For about a year running, I've not gone one day without getting very mad about something... Something minor and stupid, for that matter. I get on my own nerves whenever I'm getting mad. Sometimes I'm not sure whether it's because I'm spoiled with minor things, or because I just want attention. I'm pretty sure it's not the latter, though, because I hate attention, whether negative or positive. The way I see it, it's all or nothing. If anyone is going to give me attention, I rather it be because I'm me (which is usually the case with my mom and sisters), not because of just one thing (i.e. because of my Halloween costume, because they see me as smart (although that's not to say I generally am. Maybe in analytical thinking, but then again, how would I know what is defined as smart? It wouldn't make sense to compare myself with anyone else to determine it, because I don't truly know everyone else, unless I can read their mind. Well anyway...), because I seem grouchy, because I seem nice, because I seem "unique" (but isn't everyone?), etc. I mean sure it's sorta flattering, but then it's not really me that they're paying attention to, just an attribute of mine. ANYWAY, yesterday at school I started crying because I was pissed off about everything (not to mention because I was sick), and I couldn't release my anger through my normal way (yelling, complaining, throwing stuff, hitting the desk). I feel stupid for having done so, though. Now my teacher and the students probably think I'm extremely sensitive (I already have a case for worrying about people's opinions, which would be that it's actually needed), and I probably would too if I saw me. I guess on the bright side, they saw it as "aww, poor girl", and not "what a sissy", because mostly everyone in my grade seems to see me as a little girl (or a creepy little girl, who still has feelings). I rather them that then the real deal, because it's a good lead off. Oh, and the thing that set me off was that it was announced on the announcements that people with a green ticket only would be let into the play. I had a white ticket. My little sister said that they announced yesterday to exchange the ticket (because supposedly everyone was copying the tickets), but a lot of the seniors, including me, were at work. It's like they don't even think about the people who don't really have that many friends or talk to them outside of school. I'd have to explain more for that last sentence to make sense, which I'll do later or whatever.

Re: It's not that...

Jon166 ID:017050 2006/11/19 10:56:58

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Yeah, I've done that before. I feel so bad afterward, because I'm worried about everyone's opinion. They must think I'm overly sensitive, or even insane. I hate having to worry about other people's opinions. I know that they think things. I'm worried that they can tell what I'm thinking, whether it be through mind reading, or just being able to tell what I'm thinking about by the way I act. Also, I think they see me as a little kid sometimes, somebody who just can't deal with stupid things and gets overly sensitive. I also think my parents think like that sometimes. That's the worst. I don't usually explode with emotion in front of my class, but often in front of my parents, and I do worry how they think. And as far as the last sentance goes, you don't have to explain. I understand completely what you mean. For example, I'm class treasurer, yet I don't find out about things that the President, Vice President, and Secretary discuss. I only find out about what we're doing at the class meetings, yet they already know everything we're going to talk about. Or another example was when we had a random day off of school last year. I thought I missed the bus, and I had to have my mom get dressed and drive me all the way down there, just to find out that it was closed. I could have found out by watching the news apparently, but we were just watching national news that morning. When I got back, I found out that everyone called eachother to tell that there wasn't school that day, but nobody called me. I think I had an emotional breakdown that day, too. That really annoys me, and I don't think that it's fair when everyone tells eachother everything, but nobody tells me.

Re: It's not that...

Dark Celestial Dragon ID:011103 2006/11/19 11:51:20

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Exactly! I hate that I get my emotional break downs so much because all I'm doing is worrying my mom, and it sucks. Even this one time (I recorded this incident in my LiveJournal... which reminds me, I think you oughta get one. You don't have to have your entries public, but you can set them to private for yourself, just to be able to re-read your own thoughts through), it actually wasn't an emotional break down, just a minor thing, but I had a dream this one friday (it was about two months ago) that my mom had died, which I forgot for a while, but then on the Sunday that we were driving back home (well actually we were driving to Taco Bell) from the church bazaar I suddenly remembered it. So then I just started to think about how completely different it would be and everything if she had really died; I mean she's considered one of my bestest friends I ever had (I tell her nearly everything), and of course, she's my mom. And I started crying. I had to hide my face with my little sister's cap so that no one would see. But then when we got home, and my mom was saying that her leg really hurted badly, I couldn't help but cry, and she asked me what was wrong. I finally told her, but I worried her because she thought that my dream might mean something. The bright side, in my dream, the part that she died was actually a dream within a dream. As for that last part you mention with not getting news by others, that's exactly how it is with me! Although now, it does actually seem to be improving, but that has to do with me stalking people, being more... erm stand-up-ish (I can't think of the word), etc. But yeah, I used to always miss everything because no one would think to tell me anything.

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