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Exactly! I hate that I get my emotional break downs so much because all I'm doing is worrying my mom, and it sucks. Even this one time (I recorded this incident in my LiveJournal... which reminds me, I think you oughta get one. You don't have to have your entries public, but you can set them to private for yourself, just to be able to re-read your own thoughts through), it actually wasn't an emotional break down, just a minor thing, but I had a dream this one friday (it was about two months ago) that my mom had died, which I forgot for a while, but then on the Sunday that we were driving back home (well actually we were driving to Taco Bell) from the church bazaar I suddenly remembered it. So then I just started to think about how completely different it would be and everything if she had really died; I mean she's considered one of my bestest friends I ever had (I tell her nearly everything), and of course, she's my mom. And I started crying. I had to hide my face with my little sister's cap so that no one would see. But then when we got home, and my mom was saying that her leg really hurted badly, I couldn't help but cry, and she asked me what was wrong. I finally told her, but I worried her because she thought that my dream might mean something. The bright side, in my dream, the part that she died was actually a dream within a dream. As for that last part you mention with not getting news by others, that's exactly how it is with me! Although now, it does actually seem to be improving, but that has to do with me stalking people, being more... erm stand-up-ish (I can't think of the word), etc. But yeah, I used to always miss everything because no one would think to tell me anything.
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